“An air plant shouldn’t change how you think about your career. But this one did.”

If you’re not familiar with air plants, let me explain: they’re basically the houseplant equivalent of a participation trophy. They don’t need soil. They barely need water. They survive on literal air and the occasional misting.

And I killed one.

It was sitting there on my kitchen counter, brown and crispy, when my family walked in. The laughter started i…